Playdate
by Fiction Guardian
Summary: Once upon a time in a land far away, there lived a princess named Sans. Naturally, the playdate went downhill from there.


_Once upon a time in a land far away, there lived a princess named Sans. She was beautiful like the dawn, if just a bit lazy. Thousands of suitors tried to win her hand for her famous fairness. In fact, there was so many people that flooded the palace of Princess Sans, that overcrowding of princes became a huge problem. So her parents, like all terrible parents, decided to make a challenge to weed out the suitors by locking her in a tremendous tower with a dangerous dragon guarding her. Only a strong and powerful knight would be able to save Princess Sans and win her hand in marriage._

At least, that is how the story goes.

In the woods, where trees grew tall and dark, a towering figure strode through the snow. His armour gleamed black and grey in the sunlight and his red scarf fluttered with the breeze. He held himself with a confident air and his head was up high in pride.

Never before had the land ever seen such a knight so fierce and strong. Perhaps he would be able to do what no person had done before him: save the charming princess.

With the crunch of the snow under his step, the powerful knight came into clearing. Snow was littered all around, the trees swayed in the wind, and small bushes were huddled together as if they were trying to stay warm.

In the center of it all stood a lone tower. It wasn't much to look at as it was really just a tall cardboard box with a small lopsided square hole as a window. The tower had hastily colored pink sides and the bold words: TOWER written in red marker.

The brave knight looked at the "tower" with steel in his coal black eyes. This was where the Princess was being kept, the poor thing. The knight grabbed the handle of his sword with a gloved hand. He would defeat the terrible dragon and save the elegant Princess Sans; after all, he was The Great Papyr-

"Sup."

Sputtering, Papyrus twirled around, making a clank and clatter with his bulky armour as he tried to shove his sword back into its scabbard. Seemingly out of nowhere, there was a short skeleton in a blue hoodie and black shorts, even in the cold weather. A lazy grin was set on his face as an obviously fake, wildly curly blond wig flopped on his bone white head.

Against all popular belief and hope, this was the Princess Sans.

"SANS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO BE UP IN YOUR TOWER! AND WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR DRESS!?" Papyrus shouted, waving his hands in the air.

"I got bored," Sans said calmly, not caring in the slightest it seemed about the show of outrage in front of him.

"YOU GOT BORED- FOR PITY'S SAKES, SANS! IT WAS FIVE MINUTES SINCE I LAST SAW YOU! YOU NEED TO BE UP IN THE TOWER SO I CAN RESCUE YOU FROM THE DRAGON!" Papyrus scream at the smaller skeleton.

As if on cue, the "tower" began to rumble. Papyrus and Sans turned towards the quaking building; however the latter lifted a hand, wreathed with a blue aura.

Shooting into the sky, a horrible creature with a blue wisp dancing around it roared with all of it's fury. Its scales were the color blue and purple, with a head of brown fuzz. It bared its dangerously sharp and glinting fangs at the knight that dared to enter in its domain.

Papyrus stepped forward, in an attempt to protect the skeleton "princess" behind him. Of course, Sans just held his hand still covered in blue and did not appear very frightened at all with the dragon flapping its cardboard wings in the air.

"HALT, BEAST! I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL STOP YOU AND RESCUE THE FAIR MAIDEN, PRINCESS SANS!" Papyrus proclaimed as he pulled out his sword that flopped to side as it was made of cardboard and gravity finally won its battle.

The dragon giggled at the sight and with a powerful swing from its wings, it soared towards the brave knight.

Sans just moved his hand, still covered in blue, and had a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

 _The battle that ensued became legendary throughout history. Children from future generations would whisper this tale in hushed excitement while their parents would looked on with amusement, knowing the tale as well._

At least, that is what was suppose to happen.

What really transpired was that the evil dragon dropped from the air, losing the blue magic surrounding the beast. It landed on the poor and now probably doomed warrior and started to viciously attack him with vile hugs. It was so horrible that "Princess" Sans could only stood back and watch, his hand no longer having the blue weaving through his fingers. It looked like the end for the Great Papyrus-

"Papyrus! Have you seen my armour?" a voice screeched out of nowhere, stopping the struggle in its tracks.

The newcomer stomped from the bushes, her single yellow eye landing on the sight before her. Both the dragon and the knight, now covered in snow and dirt, stilled as they gazed back at her. The tension that filled the air was so incredibly thick that the only noise that sounded in that clearing was some rather loud slurping from Sans, who somehow got his hands on a bottle of ketchup.

"PAPYRUS! What did I tell you about stealing my armour!?"

The Great Papyrus gave an unmanly shriek as the newcomer shouted. The dragon's face crumpled to a worried expression as the person started to run towards them. That expression quickly changed into one of surprise as Papyrus clutched the dragon tightly to his armoured chest as he jumped up and started to run.

"UNDYNE! YES, I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT YOUR ARMOUR, BUT WE NEEDED TO BORROW IT SO WE COULD RESCUE SANS! I EVEN LEFT A NOTE IN ITS SPOT, LETTING YOU KNOW WHERE IT WAS," The skeleton screeched as he dodged a blue spear hurtled towards his head, holding the little dragon close.

"Why would you need to do rescue Sans?! He is right there! And I don't read notes!" Another resounding yell exploded from Undyne's blue lips as she formed even more glowing spears and pointed a finger towards Sans.

The smaller skeleton shrugged with a lazy grin, ketchup bottle still in hand.

"AH! YES, WELL YOU SEE, THIS TERROR WAS GUARDING SANS AND I JUST HAD TO SAVE HIM FROM THEM!" Papyrus stopped running and thrusted the small bundle in his arms forward, showing them to Undyne, who had now an army of blue spears ready to hit Papyrus.

Undyne peered at the soaked human with now bent and wet cardboard wings. Brown hair was plastered to their forehead and there was a bit of mud on their cheek. The human slightly roared at Undyne, but it sounded more like a little kitten's meow.

Sans snickered.

Undyne's frown slowly turned into a large grin. The blue spears, all posed over Papyrus and the dragon's heads, suddenly disappeared into the air. She reached over and did a playful punch on Papyrus's armour cladded shoulder.

"Well, why didn't you say so?! I would have even helped you take on this terrible dragon, judging by how strong it looks," Undyne grinned as she looked at the human.

Papyrus cracked a grin, thankful that the danger passed. He opened his mouth, ready to speak…

"Well done, my beauties! Such a heart-warming scene after all that exciting action!"

...And promptly lost all thought processes at the sight of the robot that randomly exploded right out of a tree, which made leaves and bark fly everywhere. The robot flipped his hair as he strode towards the other monsters, not caring at all with the damage behind him. A few seconds later, a camera crew popped out of a few bushes and quickly jogged to catch up with the robot.

The robot clapped his hands, a charming grin on his face as he stated, "Well, it would have been better to add myself to it, but I decided to allow all of you gorgeous people a chance of fame."

Papyrus's eyes became large and starstruck as he gasped out, "M-M-METTATON! IT'S REALLY YOU!"

Undyne greeted Mettaton with a grin, "How you doing, Mettaton?"

As the three started to speak among themselves, the small human squirmed out of the skeleton's arms and landed face first into the snow. Papyrus was oblivious of the sudden lack of human in his arms as he was still amazed with the appearance of his idol. The human just laid there, deciding to become what a friend once said: trash.

Sans, still with his bottle of ketchup, walked up to the human. He gazed at the human with a fond look in his eyes.

"Hey Frisk, are you feeling a little down?" The skeleton winked one of his eyes, giving a cheerful grin.

Frisk looked up at Sans, giving a little giggle and a small, innocent smile. The skeleton bent down to give a hand to the fallen human, but for some reason, his bottle of ketchup spilled straight on top of the human.

"...opps… sorry kiddo."

The human was now covered in sticky red condiments on top of the dirt and leaves on Frisk. Overall, Frisk looked terrible. Sans gave a small chuckle as he watched the child tried to wipe off the ketchup and only had it spread across their face.

* * *

Meanwhile, Frisk's adopted mother, Toriel, looked at the clock and bit her lip. In her mind, the two skeletons that took her child for play should have been back by now and eating some pie. Only, they weren't here yet. Closing her eyes, she calmed her mind and worries. Frisk would be fine. Those two fine young gentlemen wouldn't have anything harm her child.

Still, she wouldn't mind a distraction. With a furry hand, the goat monster reached out for the TV remote, hoping the loud noise would have distracted her.

Only to be greeted with the sight of Mettaton's show with Frisk and Papyrus in some weird armour being chased by blue spears in the woods behind her backyard.

"AAHH! Frisk!" the shout escaped her mouth as she saw her precious little one being in danger.

The sound of the door slamming was the only signal of Toriel leaving the house. The television kept on playing.

* * *

"Don't worry, Frisk. It's just a little ketchup," Sans looked with mild amusement etched on his face as the young child accidentally put more ketchup in their hair.

The three that were conversing with each other were suddenly attracted to the small sniffling. With the barest intake of the situation, they all rushed over to see what had happen.

"HUMAN, WHAT HAPPENED?! DO YOU NEED EMERGENCY SPAGHETTI TO FEEL BETTER?"

"Did a punk did this to you? I'm going to punch that guy into next week."

Sans started to sweat as he eyed Undyne's clenched fist raised in the air.

"Oh, darling! I'll fix this!"

Of course, they were so absorbed in Frisk, they completely did not heard Toriel coming towards them, who saw Frisk on the ground covered in red and dirt.

"Who touched my child?!" A screech silenced the forest and the inhabitants.

Fireballs bursted into existence as Toriel advanced on them. Papyrus paled and started speak; however, Mettaton clasped a metal hand on his and Undyne's arm and bolted down the forest, dodging fireballs left and right. The camera crew ran with them with the camera still running.

Mettaton flashed a dazzling grin at the camera and said, "We'll continue this amazing drama next time. Will Sans be actually rescued or will the terrifying Goat Mother take over the world?!"

Soon enough, there was just Sans, Toriel, and Frisk with the cardboard tower burning in the distance. Sans looked with some sweat running down his skull as he gazed up at the goat monster with smoke coming out of her nostrils. He nervously chuckled as Toriel sparked a seemly endless bright balls of fire. He dimly heard the cardboard tower behind him fall down with a poof into ash.

"Wow, Tori. Aren't you smoking hot?"

A small smirk flitted across her face, but she wiped it away in a moment and leaned down to Sans' height.

"Sans, please leave and come back some other time. I need to clean up Frisk from your...playdate," Toriel calmly stated as she stared at the very curly blond wig that was still perched on his bald head.

Sans gave a very small sigh of relief and gave a cheesy grin. He turned to the small human who was still in the snow and winked, "See ya kiddo."

He spun on his slipper clad foot and took a single step forward. Then he simply vanished. Toriel breathed out a sigh (of relief or fondness, no one really knows) and scooped up the shivering ball of human into her arms.

"Oh Frisk, you poor thing! You must be freezing and is that...ketchup? Well, I'll just give you a bath and some pie. Does butterscotch sound good? Or maybe snail pie. I just found this new recipe and I been meaning to try it out."

Frisk just gave a content hum and snuggled deeper into their adopted mother's arms as Toriel took them to their home.

Behind them, there were a couple bushes on fire, the blanket of snow completely ruined with dirt and sticks, and there was still chunks of bark littered on the ground from the entrance of Mettaton. The clearing was in utter destruction from the playdate. In fact, the only thing that remained intact was a small yellow flower in the center.

And a few heartbeats later, even that was nowhere to be seen.


End file.
